I moved to Toulouse after I got a new job there. Promising job too, it pretty much fit everything I was looking for: challenges, responsibility, small scale but growing strong, nice pay, and even located right smack in the city center. Perfect.
So after fighting for a while to find an apartment I could rent, and then moving all of my furniture here, I finally had all the pieces in place.
All of a sudden, the very week after I moved in, I learned that it would be my last week on the job.
Oh. Right. So long, then…
Where do I go from here ? That’s the question I’m still asking myself today, and I just can’t figure out a good enough answer. You see, I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. Which is fine, of course, but I am past the halfway point in my thirties. So maybe at some point I should figure it out…
That’s not saying that I haven’t done anything with my life. I’ve lived several years in three different countries. I have an engineering degree. I am bilingual and can get by in two other languages. Yet somehow, I sometimes feel like I’ve been following a path just because it was the most straightforward choice for me, not because I thought long and hard about it.
So here I find myself spending too much time on WordPress, reading all kinds of fascinating blog posts and stories, rather than concentrating on my job search. Sheesh. Talk about procrastinating. I know that in the near future I’ll go back to looking for an engineering job that matches my qualifications. But I’m pretty sure I’ll always have that nagging voice in the back of my head asking whether I shouldn’t become a mountain guide, or live on a farm, or open a B&B somewhere in the countryside…
Maybe someday I’ll even listen to that voice.
Perhaps I’m having all of these doubts because I’ve been away from the daily grind lately. Before this job that I had for all of three months, I had been without a fixed address for a year and a half. Lots of travelling, spending some time in remote places, away from it all.
That’s certainly why I’m having second thoughts about getting back into the rat race. Do I really want to be a rat when I grow up ?
One of my favorite quotes is attributed to Lily Tomlin: “The problem with the rat race is, even if you win, you’re still a rat.”
Just go where the river takes you, I suppose.
I can’t say I know her, but I must say I whole-heartedly agree !